Living with 100 Cows

I haven't written a real blog in a long time. Not that this is a real blog. This is a fake blog. This is me a little buzzed from eating lots of sugary treats and coffee mixed with Godiva and Kahlua. I've decided that by the time I finish writing this blog I will know what I'm supposed to do with my life. I'm pretty bored right now. Not at the moment, but in general. I hate to admit how bored I am, because I've heard that only boring people get bored and I do not want to be one of the boring people. But if I don't find out what I actually have to contribute to life on earth, than I will be one of the boring people. And if I don't find out what it is I'm actually good at and enjoy doing, than I will be tortured the rest of my life doing boring paperwork and dealing with mean people who yell at each other in abusive ways all day long. The crazy thing is I did have a vision of working where I work now about two years before I started working there. I remember it distinctly. The location, the general size of the office and profiles of some of the people I work with. I remember times before I ever even interviewed for the position when I saw them around Ann Arbor, but at the time I had no idea why they seemed so familiar or I felt drawn to them. But I can't possibly be sentenced to work there for the rest of my life and I am puzzled about what the next thing is. A vision of what the next thing is seems out of reach. Maybe I am just not listening the right way or doing what I need to d, or I still haven't learned whatever it is I'm supposed to learn at this phase. Whatever it is, I find it difficult to effect change in my life. And of course I know the old adage. It's insanity to keep doing the same thing and expect different results. But that sort of conflicts with trusting God, when you feel that all you know what to in a situation is trust and wait on the Lord. It's quite possible that I've already found my métier** but I am just too afraid to actually go for it. And that happened so long ago or so many times, that I've forgotten about it.

Before a tidal wave of exciting change happens in my life, I have to do something about the boredom. Tonight I spoke with someone who is a master in reiki therapy. I thought I might try a session and maybe even take classes because I have had reiki type experiences praying for people but I need to develop this more. I also need to find a guitar teacher that I will see regularly and this will cause me to practice on a regular basis. I haven't been practicing at all. I found a yoga/pilates/cycling studio in Ypsi. I need to check it out and start going there. I should read more. I read C.S. Lewis' Out of the Silent Planet and Perelandra. They are both wonderful. I probably should just keep reading C.S. Lewis because I find most other authors uninteresting. I might try going to the chiropraxy and maybe even a dentist. I'd love to travel more, but everything I want to do is so expensive.

Grad school..... I have no idea what to do about this. It seems that all of my friends who have jobs that they actually like have been to grad school. I am not sure what particular subject I would want to study for the rest of my life. I'd rather have a family to be honest. Then again, maybe I don't even know what I want or what is good for me. And these things are not mutually exclusive.

I can't do anything about the complete lack of romance in my life. I think joining sites like eHarmony or Match would be an act of desperation. If I'm still single when I'm 30, then maybe I will consider it. That is, if I haven't spontaneously combusted by that point, which is a very real possibility. I really don't understand how one can enjoy life fully without some romance involved. The billions of galaxies, the solar system, subatomic particles, music and earth all seem pointless without love and relationships.

There are 100 ceramic cows in my kitchen. I did not put them there, but they are there. I just had to say something about this. Okay, maybe it's not quite 100, but there are a lot. And I think they reproduce at night and make more ceramic cows. I just moved to Depot Town and I share the kitchen with 100 cows: some are in ceramic form, some live on the towels.

At this point, I still think I'd like to work for UofM. I applied to a couple positions, but never heard anything. I guess the only thing I can do is keep looking and applying for jobs at UofM. Even if I did start Grad School in the near future, I wouldn't be able to start until January.

**I'm allowed to use this super fancy word because it's the word of the day.