Lamentations

The idea of writing a blog called lamentations has been on my mind for several weeks. I just kept having the thought 'around April 12th and the title will be Lamentations'. However, it seems wrong to write about lamentations on Easter. I dismissed the idea as just another attempt on my part to complain, as opposed to it being something necessary and good. So we'll see. I am writing it for better or worse.

Yesterday I felt like checking in on the Mars Hill podcast to see what the recent sermons were about. It's pretty helpful that the two most recent podcasts were on Lamentations. (I only listen to Rob Bell and Ed Dobson. There might have been a sermon by someone else given in between, but those don't count.) And so I listened to them yesterday and now I have a renewed understanding of what it means to lament and I feel even more compelled to write about lamenting. It is not simply complaining and whining. Because, I know. It's not fun or beneficial to read about someone complaining about stuff. We are all good enough at that on our own.

I like the way Kathleen O'Connor explains what it means to lament in her book Lamentations and the Tears of the World.

"Lamentation names what is wrong, what is out of order in God's world, what keeps human beings from thriving in all their creative potential. Simple acts of lament expose these conditions, name them, open them to grief and anger, and make them visible for remedy."

"In its complaint, anger, and grief lamentation protests conditions that prevent human thriving and this resistance may finally prepare the way for healing."

Rob Bell adds "There is lament that is grief and tears. There is also lament that is protest and resistance. When we don’t lament things that need to be lamented, when we stay silent in the face of things that need to be protested and resisted, it always leads to a form of despair..."

The Book of Lamentations is actually about the pain of Jerusalem in 500 B.C. just after its destruction. To be funny and continue his tradition of being a dynamic speaker of things, Rob Bell read two modern day letters of lament about the conditions on airplanes. The famous 29E letter and another one about food. He praised these letters as a form of resistance poetry. They did not stay quiet, but turned something negative into something strangely empowering and full of life. Read the letters. They are hilarious.

In early February, we were in Grand Rapids for a conference. I asked my friend Joan for a few free minutes to lament. She graciously allowed for this. We were in the hotel room and the radio was tuned to an oldies or Motown station. And pretty soon my little lamentation session had a soundtrack. For a few minutes, all of the songs were so well matched to my laments about life and love. I can't remember the songs now, but she noticed that they kept matching what I was talking about. So then I said "Ok, I am going to change my tone about this and and let's just say it's going to work out and we'll see what the music does." The music changed quite dramatically. In just a moment, it went from songs of lament about losing love to some of the sexiest jazz instrumental music I've ever heard.

I know it's a little silly, but I felt like I was being heard. I know we can read our story into just about any song on the radio, but this felt a little different. The place, the moment, the conversation and then how the music changed as I decided to change my words and add a little hope into the mix. The night before, one of the things someone said to me in prayer was that God hears the cries of my heart. I knew what that meant. My first reaction was "Well yeah of course He does, but what is He going to do about it! What is the point, if He doesn't do something." Of course, I didn't say that to the nice lady. And I also recalled that another person at the conference said I needed to somehow verbalize what I wanted to a close friend that weekend. Just to get it out and clarify.

I don't remember everything I said that morning. It went something like "2 Freaking Years! No dates. No kissing! No romance. Did I mention no kissing in 2 years!! You can't live like this. Who can live like this? Is this some kind of strange torture? Am I being punished for something? I am pretty sure I've been listening to God. And I did not sign up to be a nun." Something to that effect. There was a little more substance and range, but that's the gist of it. Then we noticed the music kept matching the themes I was talking about. That's when I decided to change my tone and say that maybe it is going to work out. And then the sexy jazz music started playing. : )

What does that mean? I can't say for sure other than I feel reassured that things won't be like this forever. I was reminded today that God doesn't promise us certainty. He often undermines our sense of certainty so we trust in Him and follow His voice, which is far better anyway. Because humans can't be trusted with certainty. We misuse it, especially in the context of faith. We either become fundamentalist or go the other extreme and have a weak spineless sort of faith that is more about doubt than trust.

From Lamentations 3

I well remember them,
and my soul is downcast within me.

Yet this I call to mind
and therefore I have hope:

Because of the LORD's great love we are not consumed,
for his compassions never fail.

They are new every morning;
great is your faithfulness.

I say to myself, "The LORD is my portion;
therefore I will wait for him."

The LORD is good to those whose hope is in him,
to the one who seeks him