Lately, a running theme seems to be "Do not worry, do not be anxious." This is not new information, but I need to remind myself and often. I feel like I may have even written a similar blog about this before. No matter. I need to be reminded again. I often default into worry mode. I can get really creative about the stuff I worry about too. And sometimes the things I worry about are not in my control or are so far removed from the present time that it is just silly to even think about. And there is no point in worrying about things, especially those things that are out of my control. But I still find myself doing it. I have this constantly evolving ever growing list of things that could go wrong if I don't remember to think and re-think about them. And I have the most bizarre anxiety and rejection dreams as a result of this. And this is where I need to trust in God and realize he is near and aware of all my needs and not distant and not rejecting me.
I have this fear that if I let go and trust too much, then I am being lazy and he might forget that I need things. I know this is ridiculous, because time and again he proves himself more than faithful. I have to somehow learn to distinguish the difference between planning things out and being a good steward of my resources and just worrying about stuff. I tend to be involved in a messy mix of the two. And then, I am hard on myself because I feel like I am not doing anything creative...but with all this wasted energy going to anxiety and worry, how can there be anything left over? The key seems to remember times when God has been faithful and to be thankful. And also to meditate on good things and especially on Scripture. And the Peace of God, which transcends all understanding will be with you.
I wonder what that would be like; to literally not worry about anything, and not worry about what people think and not worry that I have the ability to do things that I'd like to do. All these thoughts are rooted in fear. I think this worry-free frame of mind would be similar to how I remember seeing the world when I was like 4 or 5. I remember having all kinds of trust then. I even remember having conversations with God then. I remember hearing promises and then just knew they would be fulfilled. I learned about spiritual warfare at a very young age. If I said I was scared of the dark (because I actually did see scary things in the dark), my grandmother just told me to "plead the blood of Jesus" and sing songs of praise. And it really works. I remember it working and I know it still does.
My Utmost for His Highest from today parallels the sermon from this past Sunday at the Vineyard.
A warning which needs to be repeated is that "the cares of this world and the deceitfulness of riches," and the lust for other things, will choke out the life of God in us (Matthew 13:22). We are never free from the recurring waves of this invasion. If the front line of attack is not about clothes and food, it may be about money or the lack of money; or friends or lack of friends; or the line may be drawn over difficult circumstances. It is one steady invasion, and these things will come in like a flood, unless we allow the Spirit of God to raise up the banner against it.
"I say to you, do not worry about your life . . . ." Our Lord says to be careful only about one thing-our relationship to Him. But our common sense shouts loudly and says, "That is absurd, I must consider how I am going to live, and I must consider what I am going to eat and drink." Jesus says you must not. Beware of allowing yourself to think that He says this while not understanding your circumstances. Jesus Christ knows our circumstances better than we do, and He says we must not think about these things to the point where they become the primary concern of our life. Whenever there are competing concerns in your life, be sure you always put your relationship to God first.
"Sufficient for the day is its own trouble" (Matthew 6:34). How much trouble has begun to threaten you today? What kind of mean little demons have been looking into your life and saying, "What are your plans for next month— or next summer?" Jesus tells us not to worry about any of these things. Look again and think. Keep your mind on the "much more" of your heavenly Father (Matthew 6:30).
I do love the title of your blog, if you escape your twenties or stop go go dancing, you really should not change it.
ReplyDeleteI think this topic will come up at our next mh meetup, looking forward to it... peace to you...
I was just thinking I need to think of a more scholarly, stately blog title, but I can't think of anything catchy. If someone read this blog title, they would have no idea what I generally write about. but maybe that's good. I don't even know what Go Go dancing involves. boots I think.
ReplyDelete