It has come to my attention that I have not been writing. I don't know what to do about that but ramble on in a blog for awhile. I was working on a blog about this fascinating, life-changing experience I had with a lightning bolt, God and my computer, but I left it in rough draft mode for awhile. It often feels as if my entire life is in rough draft mode. God sending a lightning bolt to answer prayer is definitely a classic. It must be written. I will write a rough draft of it. I am sure my inner perfectionist can make a better version of my life and this story on some future perfect day, but today is going to be another rough draft day so today I can write the rough draft version of this story.
Several years ago as I sat in my house by the computer, I asked God if he cared about the moral direction of my life. I was about 13 or some sort of vague adolescent year. It's all a blur really. But in all the blurriness I discovered that talking to strange and random people, especially men, in chat rooms and instant messenger was interesting and exciting. America Online was quickly becoming a sort of addiction. But then I started feeling convicted or dishonest about the whole thing. Nothing bad ever happened, but I had a very strong sense that maybe this wasn't such a good idea at my age and if this sort of thing were to continue, something bad would happen. Yet at that very same moment, I didn't really want to stop and wasn't sure I could do it on my own without some outside help. So I asked God if he cared about this online chatting business and also if he cared about the general moral direction of my life, since that's what really was at stake here. I should add that I wasn't officially saved at this point in my life. So this was really the "are you really there or what!" prayer. "Are you listening to me or just to all the other people?"
I had the impression that I should not be touching the computer. That was good. I sat there in my chair and waited a couple seconds to see if God was going to answer my questions about this computer business and everything else. A moment later I saw a bolt of lightning strike right outside the window and suddenly the entire computer lit up with loads of bright electricity. Then, it gave its last breath and died. I think I was frozen in shock for awhile. At the time I was scared and wondered if it was just some freak coincidence. Now I am pretty sure that was God. Then, I decided to listen more closely to what God had to say, because He has the power to send lightning in very precise locations. It only fried my computer. Nothing else in the house was damaged, even though it struck somewhere outside on the front lawn. The power didn't even go out in the rest of the house. I just saw it strike right outside the window and then go straight through the computer.
Soon everyone in the house knew about it, but I didn't tell anyone I had some idea why the lightning struck and fried the computer. I didn't want to get in trouble. We did get a new computer - a nicer and faster one, but I think it goes without saying I never engaged in that sort of anonymous online communication again. Chat rooms and talking to people I do not know from real life is completely off limits. The idea is not even attractive to me, but at that age it was a huge temptation.
I didn't know how God was going to show up in that moment, but I remember it being important to me that He did. I would have been disappointed because I needed a Father and not a passive one. He promised to be our Father in Heaven and I was calling Him out on that promise. That was an extremely affirmative "Yes, I care! [with a lightning bolt as an exclamation mark]" I still had a lot of doubts about Christianity and the Church, especially the people in the Church, but I couldn't deny this. And if I couldn't deny this, there were many other things I couldn't deny. It was an important step in the right direction. Admitting that I had to surrender my will, actually surrendering my will and then telling someone about it happened a few years later. It was hard trusting anyone outside of myself, but it happened and it is slowly happening. I was 16 and it was early spring. That's about 10 years, less about 4 years for college party times. Ok, so it's really 5-6 years then? I don't think God does math quite like that, which is a very good thing. But I do. I think about the time lost during college. Or, I can look at the brighter side of things. There are many lessons from the college party times that I most definitely won't have to re-learn. Even during that time, I felt I could only go so far and so long before I would be brought back.
OK - that's the rough draft of my lightning bolt story. Moral of the story: do not ask God if he cares and/or if He really exists if you are near expensive computer technologies. I suppose you could get insurance for acts of God. Do they have such a thing? Deus ex Machina Insurance perhaps.
Several years ago as I sat in my house by the computer, I asked God if he cared about the moral direction of my life. I was about 13 or some sort of vague adolescent year. It's all a blur really. But in all the blurriness I discovered that talking to strange and random people, especially men, in chat rooms and instant messenger was interesting and exciting. America Online was quickly becoming a sort of addiction. But then I started feeling convicted or dishonest about the whole thing. Nothing bad ever happened, but I had a very strong sense that maybe this wasn't such a good idea at my age and if this sort of thing were to continue, something bad would happen. Yet at that very same moment, I didn't really want to stop and wasn't sure I could do it on my own without some outside help. So I asked God if he cared about this online chatting business and also if he cared about the general moral direction of my life, since that's what really was at stake here. I should add that I wasn't officially saved at this point in my life. So this was really the "are you really there or what!" prayer. "Are you listening to me or just to all the other people?"
I had the impression that I should not be touching the computer. That was good. I sat there in my chair and waited a couple seconds to see if God was going to answer my questions about this computer business and everything else. A moment later I saw a bolt of lightning strike right outside the window and suddenly the entire computer lit up with loads of bright electricity. Then, it gave its last breath and died. I think I was frozen in shock for awhile. At the time I was scared and wondered if it was just some freak coincidence. Now I am pretty sure that was God. Then, I decided to listen more closely to what God had to say, because He has the power to send lightning in very precise locations. It only fried my computer. Nothing else in the house was damaged, even though it struck somewhere outside on the front lawn. The power didn't even go out in the rest of the house. I just saw it strike right outside the window and then go straight through the computer.
Soon everyone in the house knew about it, but I didn't tell anyone I had some idea why the lightning struck and fried the computer. I didn't want to get in trouble. We did get a new computer - a nicer and faster one, but I think it goes without saying I never engaged in that sort of anonymous online communication again. Chat rooms and talking to people I do not know from real life is completely off limits. The idea is not even attractive to me, but at that age it was a huge temptation.
I didn't know how God was going to show up in that moment, but I remember it being important to me that He did. I would have been disappointed because I needed a Father and not a passive one. He promised to be our Father in Heaven and I was calling Him out on that promise. That was an extremely affirmative "Yes, I care! [with a lightning bolt as an exclamation mark]" I still had a lot of doubts about Christianity and the Church, especially the people in the Church, but I couldn't deny this. And if I couldn't deny this, there were many other things I couldn't deny. It was an important step in the right direction. Admitting that I had to surrender my will, actually surrendering my will and then telling someone about it happened a few years later. It was hard trusting anyone outside of myself, but it happened and it is slowly happening. I was 16 and it was early spring. That's about 10 years, less about 4 years for college party times. Ok, so it's really 5-6 years then? I don't think God does math quite like that, which is a very good thing. But I do. I think about the time lost during college. Or, I can look at the brighter side of things. There are many lessons from the college party times that I most definitely won't have to re-learn. Even during that time, I felt I could only go so far and so long before I would be brought back.
OK - that's the rough draft of my lightning bolt story. Moral of the story: do not ask God if he cares and/or if He really exists if you are near expensive computer technologies. I suppose you could get insurance for acts of God. Do they have such a thing? Deus ex Machina Insurance perhaps.
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